I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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