Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.

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(719): View more from Colorado

If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.

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(707): View more from California

I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.

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(540): View more from Virginia

i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth

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(734): View more from Michigan

The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.

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(314): View more from Missouri

If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.

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(301): View more from Maryland

Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it

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