Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
