You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
