Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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