called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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