I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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