But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
