so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
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I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
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You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
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