Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
