I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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