Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He felt like a one man threesome
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
