Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
