think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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