I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
