Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
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with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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