My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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