I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
where does the pee come out of this thing
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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