but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
