I didn't shave. On purpose
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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