i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
