Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(504): View more from Louisiana

I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.

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(504): I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car. http://tfl.nu/on2m

Replies (10) Good night (2022) Bad night (544) Order T-Shirt
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"

(401): View more from Rhode Island

So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."

(1-401): View more from Rhode Island

Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.

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(401): So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch" (401): So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim." (1-401): Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor. http://tfl.nu/7e2l

Replies (26) Good night (2824) Bad night (923)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.

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(908): and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line. http://tfl.nu/n1fc

Replies (10) Good night (4362) Bad night (1277) Order T-Shirt
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(931): View more from Tennessee

After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.

(1-931): View more from Tennessee

That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!

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(931): After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night. (1-931): That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man! http://tfl.nu/4819

Replies (17) Good night (860) Bad night (4522)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.

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(267): he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana. http://tfl.nu/oxo3

Replies (9) Good night (4682) Bad night (932)
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(410): View more from Maryland

we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.

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(410): we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice. http://tfl.nu/ow0x

Replies (5) Good night (812) Bad night (2747) Order T-Shirt
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(309): View more from Illinois

Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning

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(309): Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning http://tfl.nu/rh9g

Replies (12) Good night (2164) Bad night (698)
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(207): View more from Maine

You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.

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(207): You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's. http://tfl.nu/19cl

Replies (6) Good night (1872) Bad night (496) Order T-Shirt
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(509): View more from Washington

This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.

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(509): This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck. http://tfl.nu/vrqe

Replies (5) Good night (735) Bad night (1418)
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(419): View more from Ohio

I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.

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(419): I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home. http://tfl.nu/9c0m

Replies (4) Good night (955) Bad night (1951) Order T-Shirt
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(630): View more from Illinois

I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?

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(630): I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room? http://tfl.nu/9f6x

Replies (11) Good night (508) Bad night (1450)
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(360): View more from Washington

DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!

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(360): DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!! http://tfl.nu/2uub

Replies (8) Good night (588) Bad night (930) Order T-Shirt
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(519): View more from Ontario

He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint

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(519): He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint http://tfl.nu/uh8l

Replies (2) Good night (482) Bad night (288) Order T-Shirt
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(216): View more from Ohio

So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?

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(216): So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent? http://tfl.nu/r4d5

Replies (5) Good night (271) Bad night (918) Order T-Shirt
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(503): View more from Oregon

Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!

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(503): Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered! http://tfl.nu/55g9

Replies (7) Good night (723) Bad night (154) Order T-Shirt

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