Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Randomize
