I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.