I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.