is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.