Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.

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(540): View more from Virginia

the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.

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(503): View more from Oregon

it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.

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(216): View more from Ohio

So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab

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19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Read it at the TFLN blog
(802): View more from Vermont

My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college

(516): View more from New York

is she hot?

(802): View more from Vermont

She is now

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(407): View more from Florida

sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.

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(212): View more from New York

It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.

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(630): View more from Illinois

My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?

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(248): View more from Michigan

At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?

(248): View more from Michigan

I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.

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