I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.