Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick