Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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