Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
