I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
