with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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