One girl and one boy is just not enough.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
