Pappa wants mamma naked
the condom got lost in my hair
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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