omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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