it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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