you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.