There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water