Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
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Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
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These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't