I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
