He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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