2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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