Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize