I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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