I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
