3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
