We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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