9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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