Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Randomize