Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
