i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
