I don't think brook has ever known best
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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