the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
you never un-have a 4some
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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