Dude my mom stole all your condoms
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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