Don't you send me to vm
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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