I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
