96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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