Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
