Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
