if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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