Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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