Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I deserve this hangover.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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