What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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