I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
