Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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