I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
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Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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