Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She bit a glass in half.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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